When I see you the World stops. It stops and all that exists for me is you and my eyes staring at you. There’s nothing else. No noise, no other people, no thoughts or worries, no yesterday, no tomorrow.
The World just stops and it is a beautiful place… and there is only you. Just you, and my eyes staring at you.
When you’re gone, the World starts again, and I don’t like it as much. I can live in it, but I don’t like it. I just walk around in it and wait to see you again and wait for it to stop again. I love it when it stops. It’s the best f*cking thing I’ve ever known or ever felt, the best thing, and that, beautiful Girl, is why I stare at you.
It’s when you hold eye contact for that second too long or maybe the way you laugh. It sets off a flash and our memories take a picture of who we are at that point when we first know, “This is love.”
And we clutch that picture to our hearts because we expect each other to always be the people in that picture. But people change. People leave. People aren’t pictures. And you can either take a new picture or throw the old one away.
“You’d rather not hear it now? But I want you to hear it. We never need to say anything to each other when we’re together. This is for the time when we won’t be together. I love you, Dominique. As selfishly as the fact that I exist. As selfishly as my lungs breathe air. I breathe for my own necessity, for the fuel of my body, for my survival. I’ve given you, not my sacrifice or my pity, but my ego and my naked need. This is the only way you can wish to be loved. This is the only way I can want you to love me. If you married me now, I would become your whole existence. But I would not want you then. You would not want yourself and so you would not love me long. To say ’I love you’ one must know first how to say the ’I.’ The kind of surrender I could have from you now would give me nothing but an empty hulk. If I demanded it, I’d destroy you. That’s why I won’t stop you. I’ll let you go to your husband. I don’t know how I’ll live through tonight, but I will. I want you whole, as I am, as you’ll remain in the battle you’ve chosen. A battle is never selfless.”
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security, And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't promises, And you begin to accept your defeat with your head up and your eyes open, with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child, And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans. After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much. So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers. And you learn that you really can endure... That you really are strong, And you really do have worth.
I have noticed that daily we meet moments that steal our self-esteem. They are inevitable. Pick up any magazine, you see people who look healthier, skinnier, or better dressed than you are. Look around. There is always someone who seems smarter, another more self-assured, still another more talented. In fact, each day we are reminded that we lack certain talents, that we make mistakes, that we do not excel in all things. And amidst all this, it is easy to believe that we do not quite measure up in the great scheme of things, but are inferior in some secret way. If you base your self-esteem, your feeling of self-worth, on anything outside the quality of your heart, your mind, or your soul, you have based it on a very shaky footing. So you and I are not perfect in form or physical figure. So you and I are not the richest, the wisest, the wittiest… So what?”
“Go ahead… eat that slice of chocolate cake, splash in those muddy puddles after a rainstorm, tell someone you love them, draw a picture with crayons like you’re still 6 years old and then give it to someone who is very important to you. Do something selfless everyday. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, go on a mission trip, fill up someone’s meter, take a homeless person to dinner, make a difference in the life of a child. Take a nap, go on vacation, do a cartwheel, make up your own recipe, dance like no one sees you, paint each nail a different color, take a bubble bath, laugh with your friends. Run a marathon, plant a garden, learn a new language, write a song, go on a picnic, relax in the sun, sing in your car out loud with the windows down, hug the unhugged, love the unloved and praise and thank God everyday. Live your life so that when you’re standing in front of heaven’s gate that chosen day, you’ll have no regrets, no sorrows and no disappointments.”—
“You’re going to die soon enough anyway; even if it’s a hundred years from now, that’s still the blink of a cosmic eye. In the meantime, live like a scientist—even a controversial one with only an ally or two in all the world—and treat life as a grand experiment, blood, sweat, tears and all. Bear in mind that there’s no such thing as a failed experiment—only data.”—Jesse Bering (via chopa)